Love is a Decision, Not a Feeling

After many talks with friends and lots of reflective thought, I think I have finally have come to disagree with the idea that love is strictly based upon emotion, attraction, and fleeting feeling. That seems to be the ideal our society would push today; but that sells love short. Christ didn’t sacrifice his life for us on the Cross because he was “attracted” to us in our sin—he did so because he made a selfless, humble, and obedient decision to show grace, even when we didn’t deserve it.

Likewise, Christian relationships on earth should seek to conform to that same standard. We shouldn’t love our neighbors strictly when they do what we agree with; we should love for the sake of the Gospel and because we were loved first. Although I am perhaps pretentious to say that divorce rates are up because of this very concept, I am persuaded to believe that marriage can only last when both parties understand exactly what love is.

So while we can choose to believe that true love is an uncontrollable, chemical attraction reaction, that simply isn’t always the case. Some may be convinced by this model that true love is nonexistent, as I once was. However, it’s rather difficult to prove it as such, when you can feasibly experience it through God’s grace. That is true love; and it’s form is not a red heart; it’s symbol is the Cross. True love is recognizing our own failures and our own sin, but loving anyway because we have already been forgiven by Christ.

While that may not be convincing, know that attraction is still a real entity. But also recognize that lust and attraction, although tangibly real, stand no chance against true love.

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